Sunday, January 5, 2014

No Blog Voice

In many ways, I feel as if I've lost my "blog voice" for the time being here on DBS. When it comes to sewing, primarily, not really when it comes to my family blog where I seem to post a lot about my foster care journey. I just don't have the passion to write and post, as I used to about sewing, a still serious love in my life.

What started as a tiny creative outlet for me to document my sewing progress, turned into something a lot bigger, more time consuming, and eventually I was posting not only on my own blog, but guest posting freely for others, pattern testing, offering sewing classes on the side, doing reviews and having advertising opportunities, which also got me my first Creative Contributing Author paid "gig" on The Sewing Rabbit 2013 Creative Team this past year, which was a growing experience altogether. I also started working in a sewing store... it was like sewing overload and I tend to be a pendulum that swings back and forth between extremes, unable to really find a good balance.

I think along the way this last year I went through spurts where I wanted others to notice what I was doing. I mean, who doesn't love a "WOW! You MADE that!?" type of compliment!

It's just that I knew my blog couldn't be my identity. And I fell into the trap of trying to make it something that brought me satisfaction. Believe me, I am not into making my own little "Vanessa Kingdom" in blog world.

At times it became an idol in my life. I wanted MY own name to be made great. I wanted MY stuff to be better than others, to be featured, so that others would say "Oh, look at her! She's super cool!"

Or something lame like that.

I remember praying about it, and I heard loud and clear at one point to, "Just stop!" 

Wait... God are you really saying to completely stop or just take a tiny break? What exactly does STOP mean? Stop it altogether or stop making it an idol? Stop obsessing? What!?

So I did take a small break at the time, but I still had blog commitments that I was wrapped up in that I felt like I had to follow through on, that I had already committed to from fun blog friends. It took the rest of the year to completely de-blog-ify my life to where I had zero blog stress on my calendar.

So now, that's where I am. Blog stress FREE! And in many ways, I don't have a voice. Or at least not in the same ways. Honestly, maybe I should start blogging about why you "shouldn't" blog!
I've been really trying to focus on getting ready for this 2nd sweet baby boy due in March! Sewing has been on the back burner for now! It's so funny how with Cai my desire to create came blossoming out, but with this baby, I've been passionate about "de-stressing", "de-cluttering" the house, not starting anything new, working on finding quiet, and finding balance!

In the mean time, you can always follow me on Instagram {vanessadbs} or my family blog, because in this busy season with young kids, fostering, and being 3 months away from having Judah, our 2nd baby, I seem to have enough to say regarding that crazy fun.

And I'm sure I will be doing some sewing soon enough... hopefully, I can get around to blogging, but if not, I'm resting in the grace that I don't necessarily have to! Thank you for always reading. I am not saying "good-bye", but a break for now is in order. I know that there's a season for everything under the sun.